Allowed?

I have a Marathi friend whom I recently wished ‘Gudi Padwa’. It is their beginning of New Year just as some of us celebrate in on 31st December. I texted him my heartiest wishes with all the warmth in my heart, being the excited one that I am. And all I got in return was ‘I hope you have an amazing year ahead, but I am not allowed to celebrate this year.’

I then got to know that his old grandmother passed away a few months ago and he could not celebrate let alone enjoy any of the functions for a year as the custom says.

Oaky, most of us go through this and have to abide by the rules but then something still strikes me hard. First of all the very word ‘Allowed’ shakes my nerves to the core. I mean why would someone have to be allowed to do anything? He or she has his own life and should he not have the freedom to decide what he/she wants do.

So it is customary to mourn of a year? But what if the person is yet not out of the mournful period and not want to celebrate life? What I believe is mourn as much as you want, until you have moved on. One may not want to celebrate anything even after a long year because he or she still misses the beloved. One might still want to celebrate even if a year has not passed away, the reason may be he was not close to the person, he was happy that the person was free at last from the tortures of the hospital and the old age, or even that he has simply moved on with life. The person had to go and he could not stop him. But then what stops him from celebrating life? Just customs and beliefs.

My friend here did love his grandmother but she was pretty old and the last few days were too troublesome for her, for any of us to go through the pains and when at last she passed away everyone was sad but then nothing could have been done. So they mourned and finally moved on.

But the sad part was they did not celebrate festivals just to portray to the other society members they cared enough.

I am not saying what they should have done. Many people still believe into many rituals and if they are fine with it then why not, but all I felt sorry for was because they did all this, went through all the troubles for a whole year just to prove to somebody else, our dear society.

My friend wanted to desperately celebrate his new year, for it is the only thing that mattered to him, after of course his birthday but sadly he did not only because he was not ‘allowed’ to celebrate the day.

Deafening myself

I slammed my bedroom door with a thud deafening myself to the conversation going outside in the living room. I switch on the television and turn up the volume to make others believe that I am occupied. Putting off the lights of my bedroom I subside to a calmer corner, the gallery in my room. I callously throw a bean bag to a corner, slump on it and yet again make myself oblivious to the loud television.

The only thing that boosts my energy is the soothing wind blowing after the tormenting rain and thunder. Everything seems calm now, hiding the gone pandemics. What’s gone is gone, why bother oneself with it?

There in the dark corner of the patio with shadows of light from my room and a little disturbing noise from the television, I sat motionless, closed my eyes, sighed heavily and went on to plan my next day. I didn’t even realise when I drifted into sleep, when it was already the next day, the scorching sun was shining on my teary face and the bean bag was desperately waiting to be released of my heavy weight.

Trauma of my red lipstick

So I am not a very big fan of makeup and lipsticks particularly, but when it comes to getting ready, sometimes I love doing it for myself. I mean, setting aside the day to day humdrum, it is fun for a change to get all decked up and go for a night out or a party or anything that requires, ‘getting ready’.

For quite a long time now I have been trying to get my hands on a particular red color of lip color and somehow in a search for the wanted color I ended up with five different shades of red. I am sorry, I just cannot name them. For me the classifications of colors would just go as far as red, maroon, and other different names such as cherry red, blood red, magenta and so on… for me ‘ruby woo’ and other such names are just names which portray the color red in front of me.

The point is despite the 5 red lipsticks I did not have the one that I wanted to. All I ever did was, that I would go into the shop, ask for the color but when I wouldn’t get it, I’d end up buying something else which according to me was pretty good and would suit and would go with some dress or the other. But what about the dear red? I say again that I am not a particular fan of these things; you may find me on a random day in plane blue denim and a random shirt. But when I do want to get ready, I want it all perfect, the dress and the jewelry and the makeup, anything cannot be unmatched. And that red color, I so wanted it.

So, all of a sudden I was street shopping with my friend, and as usual I started my search for the particular color in various brands. My friend had already lost hope that I’d ever find that color and she was exasperated that I started it all over again.

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By the time my hand was tattooed with all the possible shades of red, which I must say that I was pretty surprised with the number myself, I got it. I got the color and I screamed like a little child who would have been allowed to eat a bar of chocolate after a long time. And I was so happy; I don’t know why after all, it was just a lipstick after all. And then it struck me, I already owned the color, the difference was just that the one I had was glossy and the one that I wanted was in Matt finish.

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I couldn’t contain myself and was laughing so hard, leaving my friend and the shopkeeper in utter amazement. They probably would have thought that I had turned into some maniac and my friend literally dragged me out of the store. The little red lipstick tube just lying on the counter.

We are this crazy for some things. Love for makeup or not, we girls can literally go to limits for some things which we whole heartedly want. This was hilarious for me. Literally an eye opener for my behavior and how adamant I am sometimes, and I think I am still laughing hard at myself.

So any recent obsessions? Have you had any? What makes you guys literally passionate?

PC: Google

Writing or typing?

I had to complete an assignment and was as usual out of time. My days had been too occupied or rather I’d made the too occupied and had ended up with a ton of burden and deadline literally knocking on my head. The icing on the cake was the assignment’s first rule was that it had to be ‘hand-written’. And I was like ‘what?’ well, as a matter of fact I like writing in a diary and taking down notes when I am pretty sure I am going to forget it, so I was comfortable with the fact that I’d be writing almost 60 pages at my own pace. But then I had already lost my pace and I had a deadline to meet before some action was taken.

So, there I was with a cup of coffee and cleanly stacked A4 size sheets with the most comfortable gripping pen; ready to keep myself awake the whole night when outside my brother with due intention was having a party with all my cousins.

Anyhow, as I held the pen and started in scripting with my striking handwriting which had already deteriorated by the 5th page, it struck me that it was 60 pages! I knew that all along but hadn’t bothered to ponder over it much until I started penning it down.

Well, we all have adapted to this method called ‘typing’ which has made us lazy enough to write. I mean I was good at writing, and I didn’t even realize until then that I had lost not only my practice but also the speed. I was literally proud of being the fast writer who would never miss out on dictations or would never have to worry about not finishing a paper on time. Where was that me? I kept wondering until I realised that I was running out of time and rationalising that was not printing down any sheets on my table.

So I kept scribbling and scribbling until I finished my consignment, it sure took me more time than I had anticipated, and well I should say almost the double time. Even my handwriting had changed, which even didn’t look mine.

So what if we keep typing, well, it’s super easy you know. Probably most of ours typing speed would be much more than what we could write with a pen. But aren’t we just drifting away from the initial means. I mean I love the smell of paper and ink and it’s just wonderful to write, still all I do is type so that I don’t have to re-type what my hands already wrote. Sure, its way easy but it makes me think that if we continue this way and even our modern schools and colleges keep adapting to computers, one day we might consider writing letters on paper just like drawing for fun. Only those who will be good at it will be writing down, others would be just typing or even just speaking to their mobiles. (Even typing is being replaced now; I had completely forgotten that, some of us just like to order our cell phones!)

My hair cut

I woke up today with a lot of laziness within me, which the long sleep could not relieve me of and that laziness continued to be with me almost up till noon. And I don’t know why but somehow today was the day when I had to decide that I badly need a haircut, just a trimming would do but it was needed. So there I was with no hurry to getting to my day’s work, instead I decided I’d rather shape my unruly hair.

My hair is no match to any of the beauty set of hair, they are too curly, unruly, frizzy, long, not-shiny, and believe me you can never tame them. They have their own mind and will never work with your schedule of outings and parties and days of hair wash. In short they are a big pain and yet people who see them love them a lot. It’s like children for me; others love them only they don’t know how they are to behave inside the four walls of their own house.

Okay, so I decided I will cut my hair but the nearby salon was shut and as lazy I was I did not have the strength to go so far. I decided to cut it myself. That’s not bad; actually I have done it myself before and manage it pretty well, if nothing I don’t manage to spoil it.

For a perfect cut I had to go down to about an inch of haircut. Slowly my scissors slashed them and I was satisfied with my cut. But when it came to my front flecks I trimmed almost a centimeter or two of it and then quit. I just put it all away. I hadn’t even cut the whole inch behind then how could I just trim off the front hair.  I mean okay, they don’t listen to me but I just couldn’t cut them off. I like long hair.

And it was then that I realised why I stopped cutting my own hair or even going to the salon often. I never would complete it, either it’s too short or they had just spoiled my hair cut. Almost never was I satisfied. People have never understood my love for my un-tamable hair. Okay they are a big pain and you can laugh as much as you want but I love them all the same.

So girls, how often have you come across such situations? Or how often you end up with uncut hair or in a argument with your stylists?

 

Another social gathering

I think I am having too many social gathering these days. Anyways, I was there sitting among-st my peeps, all dressed up and engrossed in what was going on around. Well, it was a ‘jagran’ (where you are awake all night and sing spiritual songs/bhajan).

I for a fact like these occasions, it is an absolute change from all of your arduousness. So there I was sitting beside my cousin almost singing to the rhythms when something caught my attention. And how I perceive is something like this.

Haven’t the present generation heard a lot about being anti-socializing in the form of socializing and even about being too much on their phones and over the net? But there are exceptions. So this might not be wrong. It’s true that we are drifting away from socializing in the form of socializing but the reality also has it other side. In my gathering there were very few people from present generation and anyways this is not about them. What I saw was that the older and the dear ones were busy engrossed on their cell-phones. Though some of them were obviously wholly-devoted but some of them were more interested in ‘sharing’ what they were seeing. I saw people over whatsapp chatting, someone sharing a video to the other who could not be present, snapchat was also to be seen, oh and yes I literally saw a check in for this too on my feed post. So is it only the present generation that is all caught up in ‘seizing the moment?’

It is good to capture something but what about also trying to at least live the moment too. We all click pictures and take videos but what about staying in the present too?

They say that the present generation is not that ‘religious’, I say “may be not” but what about pretending to be too religious and being present physically while the mind wanders to a distant land where some altogether another dream is coming true. For me nothing is wrong in that too but then why criticize when someone else does it and try make it right for yourself.

Anyways it was fun for a change to see the reverse.