Category Archives: Human Nature

What Do You Do?

What do you do when something occupies too much of your time, too much of the space in your already overthinking mind?

What do you do when things that happen are absolutely out of your control?

What do you do when there are only negative thoughts, and more destructive thoughts making home in your heart and mind?

Needless to say the first suggestion would be to talk things out, to share your woes and doubts with people who care about you.

You pray and hope, and calm your mind but those little evil people are trapped within you.

Then comes the idea of writing your feelings down, word by word. Writers often tend to this technique to cure the ache.

But you see, when desperation kicks in, you go as far as writing your frame of mind and even burning the sheet down to mere ashes; repeatedly!

What do you do when despite all the efforts, those thoughts and feelings stick with you?

What do you do when your thoughts are absolutely out of control? When those thoughts, pains you like a piercing needle, slowly seeping blood out?

What do you do when you can take no more?

What do you do when nothing helps, and even the thoughts (the fact that it is not happening in reality, it is only a thought and a feeling in my head is significant here) shatter you to the core?

What do you when you can’t face the consequences of those thoughts?

 

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When I paid extra for a pair of cotton pants!

Last week I was roaming around in a new city, the curious me was trying to find new and local places to shop, exciting places to eat which brought me and my mom to a street with endless options for shopping.

The warm, sunny day was about to get more warm as we started our outing. The street was filled with colourful dresses and endless amount of accessories. You name it and they had it. I am not the fan of roadside shopping, but when I travel I do like to get something which reminds me of that place. And so I dragged my mom along with me that day.

Somewhere down that street we stopped outside a shop which was comparatively more crowded than others, where I liked a pair of cotton pants. Every single person was trying to bargain with the owner of the shop, whom I could yet not see.

Slowly, one after the other the customers went away with only one of them buying something, and then I had the shock of that day. I was waving at the pants hanging outside, trying to know it’s price, when a small child, peeped outside and shouted that it was worth 300₹. That small child who could not have been a day older than 10, seemed to be the owner or the temporary owner of that place.

We asked her if there was any elder person who should have been there, or anyone who we could talk to instead of her, but she constantly said only one thing, “I am here to sell, there is no one else except for me and a younger sister of mine.” We wanted to talk to her more, but she did not want to answer. It seemed we were prying on her life, and new customers were pouring in.

So when she asked, “Do you want to buy it or not? My last price is 290₹?” I took out the money, paid her and bought those pants.

I stopped by my mom at her initial trial of bargain and simply paid 300₹.  The pants weren’t really unique, not that they were branded or something, may be if we would have haggled we might have convinced someone to sell it for 250, but I just didn’t feel like doing it. I felt for a 10 year old trying to make money on a weekday!

 

A Man With The Mask

Happy, ecstatic, joyous, exuberant, there is just no one word to define the feeling when someone special is going to take you out on a date.

And to make the occasion extra special I go to extreme terms and dress up just for him. With a little bit of lipstick, a red dress, and a pair of high heels I am ready right on time. Of course I’ll be ready on time, if I’d be preparing for hours. Restless, I check the windows for any sign of his car, the phone for any texts. And just a few minutes later a horn blows off, and I am pretty sure it’s him.

Hiding behind the curtains, I take a glimpse, confirming that it’s him. Then, composing myself I go to the door to welcome him. Out of habit, I look through the peep hole.

It is not him. There is no one.

The doorbell rings again, constantly.

It is definitely not him.

I look through it again. And I fall back a couple of steps, trying to hold onto something, to be stable. I have never seen such a creature in my life. There is a lean, bony man outside, looking right at me, right at that tiny hole, making his face larger. He is smiling at it, smiling cunningly. He has a dark complexion, with weird teeth, and ears too big for any human face. He is wearing a black mask. He is laughing; I can hear it through the sound proof door. And just when I gulp down the saliva from my mouth, he starts banging on the door, laughing, and screaming, ‘I am going to get you.”

I double lock the door, rush to the windows and lock them too. I run to my room, locking the balcony, bolting every possible door and window, increasing the claustrophobia within. The air grows thick; I am sweaty, unable to breathe, shivering with fear and rage. Doubt and apprehension fill my mind.

Where is he?

Who is this creature?

What is going on?

What am I supposed to do?

I rush to grab my phone, and somehow the battery is drained, wasn’t it charged about 80%, right before he was to come?

The landline is dead.

And then the power goes off.

The next thing I know is I am in my bed, hardly breathing, craving for some air, my mouth is dry, and the mascara from my eyes has spread beyond my pink cheeks. I lay quite, befriending silence, trying to listen to any sound.  I have one arm under the pillow, shivering, holding a small gun, when I hear footsteps.

It couldn’t be.

I locked everything.

The shadow neared.

And my terror augmented.

Any thought of the date, a someone special, was nowhere in my mind now.

And then that lean, dark and bony creature entered my room.

His laugh sent shivers down me, and all my mind could think of was “Why me?”

The mask was not my illusion; it was a confirmation, the only common link among all the recent rape cases in the town, of all the women who were raped and murdered. He was the same man, the man with the mask!

He was a serial killer.

In my house?

Our eyes met, and he bent to grab my legs.

I kicked and waved with all my might, tears stinging my eyes. I got up, grabbed the blanket and covered my body, and with the other hand, I held the gun, pointing right at him.

Only it was not a gun. Instead it was a bed side lamp.

Only, there was no serial killer in my room, there was no one.

Only, I had been dreaming, dreaming the plot of the book that I am currently reading.

All sweaty, and craving for some air, I put down the lamp silently, and yet hesitated to open the windows. My mouth went dry at the mere thought of the dream. Sure, it was just a dream but I had seen it too closely.

I gulped down a glass of water, splashing some onto my face and went back to bed not daring to go outside, not wanting to even take a peek outside, till the sun came up.

 

PS: Currently reading,  ‘A Thin Dark Line’ by Tami Hoag.

When Your Friend gets Engaged!

Wasn’t it just yesterday when we used to fight with each other for really nothing?

When we used to fuss over the group projects, and who would do it entirely, while everyone of us would just take the credit?

When we used to fight for notes?

When we wanted to duck behind last benches and avoid eye contact with teachers?

When we used to make plans, and unending plans of hanging out at each other’s places.

When we used to tease each other by saying who’d get married first?

When we would go to extremes to just make an ‘April fool’ of somebody.

When, we’d just finish our tiffin boxes way before the recess?

When we’d smile cunningly when someone’s crush passed by?

When we’d go to the same coaching only to be together and just kill more time?

 

Wasn’t it just yesterday, when we’d roam about the whole day, and open our books the night before the exams, and yet manage to pass?

When we’d get together right 15 minutes before the exam bell, and yet manage to explain the entire syllabus to each other?

wasn’t it just yesterday, when we were kids (Okay, at least teens) and had no trouble what so ever.

Where and how did we grow up?

 

Going to a distant relatives wedding, or your elder sister’s wedding is way different than going to your own friend’s engagement party, the one friend whom you know since childhood, with whom you grew up. Where did the  years go by?

I really can’t believe one of us is getting married, who knows who would be there next, on the stage, smiling and accepting wishes from others.

I must say, as much as I am happy for this dear friend, I am scared  too.