Category Archives: Just when I don’t know anything.

What Do You Do?

What do you do when something occupies too much of your time, too much of the space in your already overthinking mind?

What do you do when things that happen are absolutely out of your control?

What do you do when there are only negative thoughts, and more destructive thoughts making home in your heart and mind?

Needless to say the first suggestion would be to talk things out, to share your woes and doubts with people who care about you.

You pray and hope, and calm your mind but those little evil people are trapped within you.

Then comes the idea of writing your feelings down, word by word. Writers often tend to this technique to cure the ache.

But you see, when desperation kicks in, you go as far as writing your frame of mind and even burning the sheet down to mere ashes; repeatedly!

What do you do when despite all the efforts, those thoughts and feelings stick with you?

What do you do when your thoughts are absolutely out of control? When those thoughts, pains you like a piercing needle, slowly seeping blood out?

What do you do when you can take no more?

What do you do when nothing helps, and even the thoughts (the fact that it is not happening in reality, it is only a thought and a feeling in my head is significant here) shatter you to the core?

What do you when you can’t face the consequences of those thoughts?

 

Advertisements

When I paid extra for a pair of cotton pants!

Last week I was roaming around in a new city, the curious me was trying to find new and local places to shop, exciting places to eat which brought me and my mom to a street with endless options for shopping.

The warm, sunny day was about to get more warm as we started our outing. The street was filled with colourful dresses and endless amount of accessories. You name it and they had it. I am not the fan of roadside shopping, but when I travel I do like to get something which reminds me of that place. And so I dragged my mom along with me that day.

Somewhere down that street we stopped outside a shop which was comparatively more crowded than others, where I liked a pair of cotton pants. Every single person was trying to bargain with the owner of the shop, whom I could yet not see.

Slowly, one after the other the customers went away with only one of them buying something, and then I had the shock of that day. I was waving at the pants hanging outside, trying to know it’s price, when a small child, peeped outside and shouted that it was worth 300₹. That small child who could not have been a day older than 10, seemed to be the owner or the temporary owner of that place.

We asked her if there was any elder person who should have been there, or anyone who we could talk to instead of her, but she constantly said only one thing, “I am here to sell, there is no one else except for me and a younger sister of mine.” We wanted to talk to her more, but she did not want to answer. It seemed we were prying on her life, and new customers were pouring in.

So when she asked, “Do you want to buy it or not? My last price is 290₹?” I took out the money, paid her and bought those pants.

I stopped by my mom at her initial trial of bargain and simply paid 300₹.  The pants weren’t really unique, not that they were branded or something, may be if we would have haggled we might have convinced someone to sell it for 250, but I just didn’t feel like doing it. I felt for a 10 year old trying to make money on a weekday!

 

3 Recent Encounters

By now, you all know that I am bad with technology, and yet the irony is I opt for shopping online in almost all the cases. I know there is always a risk attached to buying things which I haven’t seen, and yet I voluntarily want to buy things online or in a supermarket, and evade any store shopping.

The reason is very simple, not only do I get to see innumerable products but also I get to avoid people.

Why do I want to avoid people at the small stores? The reason is simple again. I will relate to you my recent encounters.

1#
I ordered food from a nearest restaurant. We usually order from there, and there has been never a problem. But this time the delivery man seemed new in the area. (he seemed to me a person new to a job itself). Our building is being renovated and hence the apartment name was erased, so he couldn’t find the building. He instantly called the landline number, on which my mom was talking to someone. He might have asked the guard, and came upstairs, but he was already in a mood.

I had kept the door open seeing the restaurant bike downstairs, so that he didn’t have any more trouble finding the house. (And I was hungry too.) but as soon as he came in view he shouted, “Is it your parcel?” When I said yes, he literally started fighting with me. “Can’t you put up a name on your building? Even your house has no number. (That is why I kept the door open!) and then you have to keep your phone busy too. Why can’t you talk some time else. I had so difficulty finding your house. I had to talk to your guard to find out if this is the place.”

That is when I lost it, and the angry me retorted, “That is your problem!!” I took my package, paid him, and banged the door before he could finish his sarcastic ‘thank you’.

Honestly, our building is located at the centre, it is easily located, and even a blind man will find his way to it. And if asking a guard downstairs was so much of a trouble, you could have taken up some other job.

Correct me if I am wrong, don’t you think customer service is a part of any business. Okay, I agree there was a bit of a problem for him, and our phone was busy too. But what about keeping some amount of patience? How can you just shout at a customer which was equally polite to you at the beginning?

2#

I went to the market to find a matching blouse for my skirt, and there is only one shop nearby where I could get the ready-made ethnic blouse that I wanted. And as I went there and told him what I was looking for, he sat there staring at me, sipping his tea.

“What do you want?”

I repeated what I wanted.

And then without even looking at his stock, without so much as a glance behind him, he refused and ordered another cup of tea.

It could be that he really didn’t have the blouse, or the colour, or the material, but just the way he said it, was not at all professional.

3#

I needed to buy some groceries, nothing too much so I went to the shop just down the road from where I stay, instead of the superstore.

There was no customer inside, except for me. And the two staff were just sitting and chit chatting in there Monday gala time, the owner doing his prayer to the God’s to the bless him with… more customers, more money, and I don’t know what else could be in his wish-list.

I started telling them the things that I needed and one of them lazily dragged himself inside while the other one was constantly editing his picture on snapchat. It took him more than 15 minutes to grab a packet of oats, a bottle of jam, some bread, and a small packet of milk. After the long 15 minutes the owner did the billing, and swiped my card with the same lazy and mundane humour. Even tearing the slip off the machine took him more than 15 seconds.

I was just glad to grab the things and leave when the other customer came in asking for a bottle of Vaseline.

The supermarket would have been a better option, I thought.

*

I know that even small stores need to earn their share, they are also handy, but if this is the case, then I am happy browsing for some time, exploring more products and wait a little time for the delivery.

I am not sure why I am posting this here, but where I work if we had done any of the above things, or been even a little rude to our customers, I would have been simply thrown out. I am not saying that customers are always right, but there is a certain professional decorum that has to be followed.

Today’s FACT!

Technology has always hated me,

And will always probably hate me :<

 

PS: I guess it is a reward fro liking everything the old fashioned way.

That one thing.

Ever felt the importance of something- which is clearly not as important anyway! Still you feel like it is the most important thing in our life, the only thing that is going to be good, to be okay for you and you cling onto it so bad. You just can’t let go, not because you don’t want to but simply because you can’t. That one thing that you may have done right; that makes you forget almost all other wrongs. Is it not then that you realise that there is nothing much in your life, except for that one thing? What if even that goes away? Then I might be left with simply nothing!

I thing I am just rambling anyway, I should stop my babble right away.

Have a good day,

Much love.

 

Wasted Sunday.

  • Woke up at 10 AM and still did not wish to wake up.
  • Skipped breakfast, but compensated with two cups of coffee.
  • What I exactly did till noon, even I can’t fathom.
  • Had lunch, and just after lunch, I had the strong urge to go back to sleep again.
  • Resisting everything, I tried to focus and study!
  • Nope, not my day.
  • My stomach started to ache acutely again, shutting down the left over wish to study.
  • I switched on the TV, watched a whole movie. What was it? ‘Our brand is crisis.’
  • In the evening I tried getting out of my bed, but the pain was throbbing and I had no intention of even going out of my room.
  • A novel saved me.
  • I had an early dinner, followed by a huge tub of ice cream. Really spoiling myself.
  • Half tub of ice cream was accompanied by another movie. Which one? ‘Runway bride’
  • Movie and a slow eater of that almost milk shake kind of ice cream made it till I don’t know what time.
  • Again the urge to sleep. But it wasn’t late enough.
  • So I kept myself busy with the novel again. As always, it worked.
  • Late in the night, I was about to turn off but then the phone kept buzzing.
  • All kinds of people texting me simultaneously. Where were they the whole day? When ‘I’ was bored?
  • I reply for a few minutes trying to make it short, but the conversation gets interesting with a couple of people, and I continue.
  • It’s 1 AM now and it’s really time to sleep. I wish them good night, and then go off to bed, finally!
  • Oh, I don’t even feel guilty. Should I? I think, I should but the thing is I don’t.
  • So there, that’s how I wasted my Sunday.

The bed box

She was sitting on this dim corner of the cave, very peaceful, not even caring that she had lost her way, and that she was away from the company that she had entered with. The place was unnervingly silent, and the cool setting was a bit too much for her to take. Still, she sat there motionless and tranquil not thinking about the consequences. She knew someone would ultimately find her. She was also aware that subconsciously she wanted no one to discover her, and stay completely lost in her own world, hidden away from everything else.

That is when I woke up, realising that I was sleeping inside the bed box- the extra bed that the hotel provided. With that dream ending unexpectedly I could only hope for someone to come and push the bed box inside the bed and let me just sleep and to know that if she is eventually able to stay away from everything?