- Woke up at 10 AM and still did not wish to wake up.
- Skipped breakfast, but compensated with two cups of coffee.
- What I exactly did till noon, even I can’t fathom.
- Had lunch, and just after lunch, I had the strong urge to go back to sleep again.
- Resisting everything, I tried to focus and study!
- Nope, not my day.
- My stomach started to ache acutely again, shutting down the left over wish to study.
- I switched on the TV, watched a whole movie. What was it? ‘Our brand is crisis.’
- In the evening I tried getting out of my bed, but the pain was throbbing and I had no intention of even going out of my room.
- A novel saved me.
- I had an early dinner, followed by a huge tub of ice cream. Really spoiling myself.
- Half tub of ice cream was accompanied by another movie. Which one? ‘Runway bride’
- Movie and a slow eater of that almost milk shake kind of ice cream made it till I don’t know what time.
- Again the urge to sleep. But it wasn’t late enough.
- So I kept myself busy with the novel again. As always, it worked.
- Late in the night, I was about to turn off but then the phone kept buzzing.
- All kinds of people texting me simultaneously. Where were they the whole day? When ‘I’ was bored?
- I reply for a few minutes trying to make it short, but the conversation gets interesting with a couple of people, and I continue.
- It’s 1 AM now and it’s really time to sleep. I wish them good night, and then go off to bed, finally!
- Oh, I don’t even feel guilty. Should I? I think, I should but the thing is I don’t.
- So there, that’s how I wasted my Sunday.
Does darkness have a source?
I don’t think so.
For me, darkness does not come naturally,
It comes only when the light, the ray of hope, unknowingly hides away from us.
What are your thoughts?
The bond that we share
Is really very special,
It is the warmth, the love, the care,
That exceeds all level.
Your unshared, unconditional love
Has still, never been enough,
The humane wish of always wanting more,
Has left me without you; hollow to the core.
I replay in my mind
The unintentional, inconsequential fights.
I laugh aloud,
With tears in my eyes.
Do you remember the reason of our squabbles?
I, for one can remember no such troubles.
All the memories that rushes through,
Pictures our happiness true.
Sweet savourings shared together,
Has not reached me this un-fateful year.
Would you have missed me today?
What a wrong question I have come to say.
It isn’t just sad
That this Rakhi, I am not with you,
Don’t get mad,
But I am still happy for you.
We have never settled
Not on a single thing,
But the love inclines,
That keeps us always stringed.
This may be a new endeavor
But my dear, always remember,
The bond that we share,
Is really very special,
It is the warmth, the love, the care,
That exceeds all level.
A little something for my precious brother who is not with me on this special occasion of ‘Raksha Bandhan’
I don’t say it, and I won’t say it, but you must know, that I do love you.
It was 3 am in the morning; my room was eerily silent, disturbing all my thoughts. Could silence do that? The only sound that pierced my ears was of the crickets hiding somewhere outside my balcony. I wonder why I even keep it open all the time. But that’s the habit I have grown accustomed to, I keep it open no matter what, even my parents are tired of that habit now.
So anyways, I was seated at my study, glaring deep into the bright light of my laptop screen, my fingers hovering above the keyboard, just hovering and not clicking. I had been doing it for a long time now, writing and erasing, writing and erasing, and I had been nowhere. The paper was due the next day, and yet I had nothing!
Creative writing, huh? Too easy? Now I know what’s easy and what’s not!
I stood, walking away, may be a walk could solve my problems? Who was I kidding? At 3, I would be scared even I type faster than usual; I would be scared even if my phone vibrated, let alone ring. I just stepped away from my table, and paced inside of my room, poking the pencil onto my head, as if it was a magic wand. I paced faster trying to exert myself.
Wait what? By walking? Of course not so I started doing stretches, jumping, lying down on the cool floor, anything, and anything that my crazy sleepless mind could set at work.
I stood up and refilled my cup of coffee, took a sip from the cup and rubbed my hand on my face. I even slapped myself the ‘wake up slap’. I mean common I had to do something.
I read a couple of articles on the internet then, I also googled things which were not required instantly, and which might be helpful, I read newspapers, believe me not just yesterdays’, the whole weeks. I went back to my novel diverting myself completely.
And yet, nothing!
And that’s’ when I realised that it was next day, it was already 6 and I might have missed today’s newspaper. I rushed outside, got the morning newspaper from outside and scanned it entirely in a hurry. And yet, nothing!
And then I kept flicking all the newspapers and articles in front of me. It was then that, an article entitled “Feminism bleeds blue” caught me and after reading it for three to four times I asked myself, why am I even reading it again and again?
I already knew what I had to write, and how and when? Then why was I wasting my time? I had none to spare.
What I wrote was not anything related to that particular article, really nothing about cricket, nothing about feminism, but something related to women. And as soon as I booted my computer again, opened the word file, words just came flowing by. And I was as stunned myself. Where were they hiding all night?
In no time I completed the paper and as soon as I hit send, I gathered that had my mind worked a little faster I wouldn’t have to be troubled the entire night. But no, it was waiting for some signal, I guess.
How often does it happen with you, that you wake up in the morning and feel guilty at something in your life, despite all the things you are doing?
For me it’s really often. I would wake up in the morning and just feel like questioning me “What the hell are you doing with your life?”
I mean yeah sure, I work, I study, I go about the day as usual, but what exactly am I doing?
May be the answer is in the question itself, but there for me is no sense.
So there are days, when I rack my brain with nothingness and with overburdening questions. And there are days where I just feel content. Sure, nothing changes overnight, but my feeling does.
Today I got up in the morning with an unnerving feeling of contentment. I call it ‘unnerving’ because I know, just when I start relaxing with the feeling, the sensation of guilt overpowers all my sanities.
So, before I lose this astounding emotion, I just wanted to write it down somewhere so that I do not forget, the gratified feeling of contentment.
There will be days of happiness
Days of sadness,
I need not worry because of them,
As it all shall pass.
“I may seem sweet and nice but if you borrow my book and forget to return it, I will break a level of crazy that will make your nightmare seem like a happy place.”
Nothing that I wrote, but seems apt though.
It’s only sad that my friend who took my book would not read this. 😂😇
I lay on my back, the cool concrete floor lightly touching my body. I looked up at the sky smiling, but dark clouds loomed over me, hiding the shining moonlit night. The cool wind caressed my skin softly and just when my mouth cracked into a tight lipped smile, the first drop of rain water kissed my cheeks. I could see the faintest of stars shining in the sky, which was showering me with the cool splashes of rainwater so late in the night.
“At 2, I think it was really too late.”
Sitting upright, I silently slipped into my room, outside the night seemed beautiful, but inside the dark clouds still lumbered on.
The thought of going back to reading a few more pages of the novel struck me just when I drifted off to a deep sleep.
She was sitting there, lost into her gloomy thoughts. The room was awfully murky, and the darkness helped her hide from the light. Tattered as she was, so were her thoughts. Her appearance was no less depressed with rugged hair, with the black dress, and with face as dull as her feelings. She clutched onto herself, at a shuffle of sound, dreading anyone’s presence. She needed no one at the moment, she knew the amount of pessimism people brought to her, and she was also conscious of her own tumultuous state. It was all plentiful.
Lying down, she shut her eyes, as if the room was not dark enough. Taking deep breathes she suddenly felt the loss of air, the need for cool air. And there it was, a sway of cool breeze through the window which had been kept open in the dark of the night.
Only then with the flicker of the light did she realise that there was a candle far away in the room, barely alight. The wind blowing now was making it harder for it to be kept lighted and she did not even wish it to be lighted. But no amount of wind could blow off the candle. It almost got burnt out and then just when it seemed that it was out, she would find that it was still alight, barely alight, but yes it did have the vigour and the desire to keep itself lighted which she knew she missed in herself.
A small candle which did not even have the needed amount of wax to light itself fought for the light that it wanted to spread in the darkness of the room, and there she was crouched at the far corner, hardly breathing, hardly wanting to live.
If the candle could put up a fight, so could she. She would reignite herself again; she would rise up and not let any sort of obscurity win over her. Not this time. She would keep her life lighted from then on. And there just when the candle burnt itself again and gave the brightest light, she knew she was born again.
And as the candle went off, she smiled brightly, welcoming the dawn, her tears long dried and a face that had the power to conquer her world. Her soul set free from the chains of the darkness.
I love rain, most of us do when it’s summers and we are just dying of the scorching heat. But I love it more when it comes un-warned, without any suspect.
So the other day after a very hot day, the evening was blessed for us. It rained unexpectedly and made our place just so calm and peaceful. It was all unexpected we couldn’t have thanked enough for the rains. After a 45’C continuous temperature, I think we deserved that. Our place looks wonderful after the rains, just like a hill station and to cherish all of it we went to our terrace to enjoy the beautiful weather.
with soft music going on and the cool after-rain breeze blowing I clicked random pictures, and I clicked a lot of them. So here I go sharing them. Hope you like them and the beautiful place that we live around.
WARNING: They are just random pictures and you might see some things least expected. 😀 :-p
PS: For the last two pictures I don’t even know what I was thinking.
Anyways, I hope you have a wonderful day ahead.
The sun was almost down with crimson hue in it. It was half hiding behind the tall hill and half smiling at me. It was the time of dusk and yet it was bright and shiny. It wasn’t blinding me rather giving me a lovely look, assuring me that he would be back tomorrow. He will be and I can trust him. I know that. He goes with a promise and comes back with a promise of a beautiful day, a lovely start, a new beginning. Where, if we cannot erase our past at least we can correct them. It brings us hope.
I stare into the eyes of sun as if falling in love with him, I cannot see anything but his glaring eyes. I know he is too powerful, he can have it over anyone, he has the charm, I know! His charisma blows my mind and all I can think of is his coming again. He cannot be long gone. I will miss him. He is almost behind the hill, almost gone and yet I stay to look at his last rays, savour every last glimpse of him.
I can still picture him with my closed eyes and I know he will be back soon. Just as I open my eyes I see no evidence of his ever being there. Rather I see a half moon on the sky now, stark white and I know that it’s time to finally bid adieu. It’s the time of all the romantics. They will come and cherish the moon and sing songs for the beloved and look at the stars and will make promises to each other. Yes it’s good all the same.
I know moon is always connoted with the romantic notion but what about sun? Isn’t it beautiful too? It has its own unique charm and I love it. I love the romantic sun.