Category Archives: My Reality Mirror

Untainted Love

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I must admit that I am not a very big fan of kids, but neither do I hate them. Somehow kids love me a lot. Whenever they are around me, they want to be with just me. One would want only me to feed him, the other will play only with me. Even when I don’t want to be with them, they want to be with me!! And sometimes, I do get a little bit irritated when parents just leave them with me, regardless of their behaviour.

But I must say, that when I am not working, and I am not busy, the do make me happy. I know there are conditions attached here, but that is the truth.

I love how they cuddle against me, how they show their love towards me without any hint of jealousy.

There’s is the angelic love.

 

 

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Seven B&W Photos; Day 1

I am participating in the Seven Days. Seven Black and White Photos of Your Life. No People. No Explanation. Challenge Someone New Each Day.

This is a simple picture taken in the outskirts of Jamshedpur, Jharkhand, a view from the resort that we once stayed in.

I nominate Mr. Lonely today for this challenge, (no compulsion) from https://utkarshsharma26.wordpress.com/

A Man With The Mask

Happy, ecstatic, joyous, exuberant, there is just no one word to define the feeling when someone special is going to take you out on a date.

And to make the occasion extra special I go to extreme terms and dress up just for him. With a little bit of lipstick, a red dress, and a pair of high heels I am ready right on time. Of course I’ll be ready on time, if I’d be preparing for hours. Restless, I check the windows for any sign of his car, the phone for any texts. And just a few minutes later a horn blows off, and I am pretty sure it’s him.

Hiding behind the curtains, I take a glimpse, confirming that it’s him. Then, composing myself I go to the door to welcome him. Out of habit, I look through the peep hole.

It is not him. There is no one.

The doorbell rings again, constantly.

It is definitely not him.

I look through it again. And I fall back a couple of steps, trying to hold onto something, to be stable. I have never seen such a creature in my life. There is a lean, bony man outside, looking right at me, right at that tiny hole, making his face larger. He is smiling at it, smiling cunningly. He has a dark complexion, with weird teeth, and ears too big for any human face. He is wearing a black mask. He is laughing; I can hear it through the sound proof door. And just when I gulp down the saliva from my mouth, he starts banging on the door, laughing, and screaming, ‘I am going to get you.”

I double lock the door, rush to the windows and lock them too. I run to my room, locking the balcony, bolting every possible door and window, increasing the claustrophobia within. The air grows thick; I am sweaty, unable to breathe, shivering with fear and rage. Doubt and apprehension fill my mind.

Where is he?

Who is this creature?

What is going on?

What am I supposed to do?

I rush to grab my phone, and somehow the battery is drained, wasn’t it charged about 80%, right before he was to come?

The landline is dead.

And then the power goes off.

The next thing I know is I am in my bed, hardly breathing, craving for some air, my mouth is dry, and the mascara from my eyes has spread beyond my pink cheeks. I lay quite, befriending silence, trying to listen to any sound.  I have one arm under the pillow, shivering, holding a small gun, when I hear footsteps.

It couldn’t be.

I locked everything.

The shadow neared.

And my terror augmented.

Any thought of the date, a someone special, was nowhere in my mind now.

And then that lean, dark and bony creature entered my room.

His laugh sent shivers down me, and all my mind could think of was “Why me?”

The mask was not my illusion; it was a confirmation, the only common link among all the recent rape cases in the town, of all the women who were raped and murdered. He was the same man, the man with the mask!

He was a serial killer.

In my house?

Our eyes met, and he bent to grab my legs.

I kicked and waved with all my might, tears stinging my eyes. I got up, grabbed the blanket and covered my body, and with the other hand, I held the gun, pointing right at him.

Only it was not a gun. Instead it was a bed side lamp.

Only, there was no serial killer in my room, there was no one.

Only, I had been dreaming, dreaming the plot of the book that I am currently reading.

All sweaty, and craving for some air, I put down the lamp silently, and yet hesitated to open the windows. My mouth went dry at the mere thought of the dream. Sure, it was just a dream but I had seen it too closely.

I gulped down a glass of water, splashing some onto my face and went back to bed not daring to go outside, not wanting to even take a peek outside, till the sun came up.

 

PS: Currently reading,  ‘A Thin Dark Line’ by Tami Hoag.

The Talk of Safety!

Let’s talk a bit about safety. Shall we?

(Warning, I am going to digress from the topic, totally!!)

So today I was almost done with all my work and was about to return home early when my friend called and asked me to meet her at a coffee shop near her place. I thought why not? It was early as it is and didn’t have much to do either. So I went there, had a cup of coffee, we talked and in some time I decided to leave. It wasn’t late but I just wanted to reach home before it started raining. We were sitting in the garden and I could see clouds getting darker with the time.

Just when I was leaving she reminded me to wear the helmet. Of course I forgot. How could I remember that? I just do not like wearing helmets, I feel as if I have overburdened my tiny head. So I wore my helmet and rode towards my home. It was just a fifteen minute ride.

After just two minutes I felt the strap choking my neck, it was too tight. I loosened it with one hand and rode on. After another two minutes it felt too loose so I stopped and tucked it tight again. I’d better choke than let it loose and keep the helmet coming down to my face. I don’t think there is any helmet made for my size of the head, or for a woman. They are all either too loose or too big! (Smaller ones and the perfect ones are really rare.)

I rode on for five more minutes in full speed, the roads were not too packed, and now I was in a hurry too. My phone was constantly ringing and I knew it was my mom. I hadn’t informed her that I’d be late.

Riding peacefully at a consistent speed, I was really enjoying the beauty on the roads. The part of city which I was leaving is really beautiful with trees on both sides shading the road.

I was about to reach the main road when I noticed two boys riding behind me in a bike, they were almost shouting and I could hear their voices, but could not make out what were they talking about. I wasn’t interested either. Only up till the point when I realised they were following me.

My initial instinct was to ride faster, so I took up the speed. I reached to main road circle and however hard I tried I had to slow down with the evening rush. They had taken all the same turns up till now, and I was hoping against all odds that they would divert ways now. This was the turning point; if they wouldn’t take another turn here then I would be sure that they were after all following me.

I gave no indicators, ignoring the traffic rule, and pretended to go straight. And then just when there was no other way to go, I took a sharp right turn and moved inside the area, switching off from the main road. They had pretended to go straight too but had followed my vehicle taking a right turn against the rules.

I was sure. They were following me after all.

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Speeding up wasn’t helpful, so I slowed down, hoping that they’d go away. That particular street was still busy; once I’d go inside the residential area I knew the streets would be would be isolated.

They slowed down too behind me.

I was frustrated, angry, scared all at the same time.

I moved on taking another right turn, taking me inside to the residential area. They came too close to my bike and I am pretty sure my face would have given away my inner feelings. What was I feeling? I was shit scared!

The next time they brought their bike beside me, I loosened my helmet and kept it handy on my left side, the side on which they kept nearing. By this time I had already moved past my home. I couldn’t let them know my residence. What if?

I was already way away, and the streets were getting isolated, and the sky was giving me signals that soon it would rain. It was almost dark now!
I had no option now. I did not know what to do? Where to go? My hands were shivering and making it difficult to ride. My palms were sweaty and tears were almost on their verge of flowing down.

I blinked hard. This was not the time to go weak.

“Shut up and think!”

With again an impulse decision, I slowed down my bike to almost 20kmph and pretended to take out my phone. This time I was the one shouting on the phone declaring my whereabouts to the constantly vibrating phone.

Just when I slowed down further, the main door of the house on the left opened and a man came out. I did not stop but I slowed down to a speed of 10, barely moving further. Of course if the boys behind me slowed down with me that would look fishy. So they maintained enough speed to go ahead of me.

Finally I breathed a sigh of relief. Just when they were at the end of the road, I gave my right indicator on making them feel that I would turn that way.

They turned right. Mission successful!!

I never drive past speed limit, of course I always follow the safety rules, but this was an exceptional case. Just when they noticed me taking up speed, they went further right, one boy constantly glaring behind, to keep track of my bike.

I took a sharp left turn, fortunately avoiding a Harley and increased my speed even further. They took a u turn too but very fortuitously a car came following from just where I took a turn making it difficult for them to follow me. But they still were after me, but thankfully very far away, almost at the far end of the road.

I took continuous three sharp lefts making it a circle to my home. But before I stopped I saw the reflecting mirror that they were not there, they had missed me. I zoomed the bike to the parking space, locked it and rushed to the elevator, the helmet still in my hand.

I was only relieved when I reached the inside of my house, still shivering.

“What happened?” my mom was all worked up just by my looks.

I broke safety laws.

“You never do that. What did you do?”

I broke three laws, mom. Not one. First, I did not give indicators, and when I gave I gave the wrong one. Second, I over sped. And third, I did not wear helmet.

“But you are carrying your helmet in your hand.”

Yes, mom. I just did not wear it.

“So did the police charge you?”

No, I saved myself.

Another foolish act!

So yesterday I was rambling about how I am an ultimate fool just for forgetting something, but today there is a new realisation about me. The fact that I am a fool doesn’t change but the reason does. Today I seem to be a fool only because I can’t forget things. Oh what an irony!

So what happened is I woke up with a tune in my mind. I mean I wasn’t listening to the song last night, it wasn’t playing anywhere in the morning, but when I woke up today, the first thought that came to my mind was that song. Which one? Bolna from Kapoor and sons.

And the song doesn’t just seem to go away. It was there with me in the bath, during the breakfast, on my way while driving, so much so that it was there in with me in the meeting too. I was humming the song silently while my client was saying something.

And it struck me then. What are you doing you fool? Stop singing!! It isn’t the place to sing.

And the song still didn’t go away. It keeps coming back, and the day isn’t over yet. I don’t know how many more blunders I am going to make today just for not forgetting the song!

 

Me- The ultimate fool.

On my birthday last month, my friend wished me good luck with such a heart-warming message and I the ultimate fool forgot his birthday. Well, I remembered, and I intended to call him up first thing in the morning, but then ‘the day’ happened and I forgot all about it. I just slipped. And the best part is I did not even remember this until 11:30 in the night. And then I grabbed my phone can called him instantly, simply apologizing. He did not mind, he said that he had been waiting for my call and had noticed that I hadn’t wished him yet. But still it was okay! So we had a good talk for a while and then we put off but I still did not like the fact that I forgot talking to him. While he on the other hand made it a point to call me at midnight, wrote me such a sweet text/poem. And what did I do? I forgot. Simple!

So I thought I’ll write him a poem or something, but then I realised that I don’t know what to write. What a shame!

So all I can say to him now is something like this,

Dear Yadu,

You are more capable than you think. And there is only one thing that I am waiting for you to do, write a book! You don’t give yourself enough credit for it, but you deserve every bit of it. You can really write a book which will be worth it, no matter what language you write in.

So may be very soon, eh?

I attach here the message he wrote me, and you can decide for yourself if he is capable or not. (Also I did a little translation in English which I am really not proud of. And I also know this is going to annoy him. He doesn’t like translations.)

Ek unsuljhi paheli, ek khamosh si kahani, ek mushqil sa sawal

Ye sab thi tum, aur shayad abhi bhi ho kisi k liye

Lekin jab jana to laga ye sab nahi ho tum,

Sirf ek acchi dost ho mere liye

Ek paheli nahi, paheliyo ka rasta ho tum

Khamosh kahani nahi ek bolti kitab ho tum,

Mushkil sawal nahi, un sawalo ka jawab ho tum

Beshaq alag ho tum, auro se bilkul alag,

Tabhi to shayad hazaroo ki bheed me tumhe pehchanna asan tha.

*

An unsolved puzzle, a silent story, a difficult question,

You were all of these things to me,

May be you are still one of these things for someone else, but not me.

Now when I know you, you aren’t any of these things to me.

You are only a true friend for me.

You are not an unsolved puzzle, but the answers to all the puzzles.

Not a silent story, but you are a book with your own life story,

You are not a difficult question, but you are the answers to all the questions.

Of course you are totally different from others,

That is why may be it was way too easy for me to find you among the crowd of 1000s.

Keeping Busy

No, I am not busy, I mean I am but not because I am busy, but only because I want to be busy.

Does this even make sense?

I hope so.

PS: In the extent of keeping myself busy to avoid things, i hardly know what am I exactly doing.