Category Archives: My Reality Mirror

A Supplementary Question Paper!

When life is already disarraying, my fate really plays good with me, it adds on to the miseries and dilemma. As if, I already wasn’t dealing with enough questions, I have a supplementary sheet to answer, which accordingly is not optional!!

I wouldn’t say the questions are really difficult, they are simple questions, pertaining to the syllabus; life!! And yet here I am struggling to merely swim above the level, simply trying to breathe.

I wouldn’t say these are really miseries, and if I were to mention them as agonies, they are the sweet ones. The only trouble is I don’t know how to deal with them. The lack of experience, knowledge, you could say anything pertaining to the curriculum, which leads me to jitter at the possible thought of simply sitting with the question paper.

So, what do I do?

My heart has a very simple answer!

But the practical me always wins!! It has reasons and explanation, a supplementary brief study for almost every Multiple Choice Questions too! It has a basic tendency to analyse and criticise, take future and past into hand.

Again, I ask, what do I do?

I am pretty sure, this is going to sound more of a rambling post, rather than a scream for help.

So, I really don’t know what to do. As I already mentioned, the questions aren’t demanding, only, the answers are a little more convoluted.

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Lost!

I have been off lately, from blogging, from WordPress for which I don’t even have a specific reason.

It all started a while ago when I started drifting off from everything, even the things which gave me pleasure, started boring me. I don’t know how it started, but somehow it all led to me being a complete static person. I wouldn’t say I was too busy working, or studying, I was simply occupied with my day to day work, from which I could take time out for everything, even blogging.

BUT THE PROBLEM IS, I DIDN’T DO IT.

I DID NOTHING.

I wouldn’t say I was away from work too, no, that didn’t happen. Everything kept going on as it should, but only without interest and my heart in it. Life moved on, but I wasn’t truly happy with what was  happening.

My friends and family of course thinks all is well because by now I have mastered the art of deceiving my feelings in front of them. My social life too seemed pretty active which these days, make people believe that the person is all right!

So when I logged into WordPress to find so many people concerned about my absence, I was truly touched. I wouldn’t say I am good now, the process of recovery is still going on. But I am way better than I was a few days ago.

What happened? I don’t know!

I just lost the motivation to do anything in particular. I have been simply sulking, having lost the vigor to do anything. This anything comprises from blogging to studying to even talking to people.

I hope to get out of this mood soon enough. I hope to find my path soon.

But before that I truly thank you all for even considering my absence in your thoughts.

 

Book Suggestions, please!!

I don’t understand what happens, and how this happens, but as soon as the holiday season kicks in, I start losing myself to negativity and uncertainty. I start losing all the hope and faith inside of me, and give in to the terrible anxiety and fear. These times are really trying, and however much I try it is extremely difficult to come out of it easily.

As always my consolation comes from books, being the recluse that I am. But somehow, whatever I am getting hold of recently seems to be depressing, either there is someone who dies, or something that keeps the protagonist in constant misery, there is only pain and suffering in what I am reading too.

So, basically I need book suggestions that do not include any kind of heartache. Please, I am really clinging onto you guys now, I need to revive my faith and get back on the right track.

I want to start my new year with something that brings smile to my face, and not with something that leaves me dejected and wondering.

Anything, please…. (You must know I am desperate, if only to read something good.)

 

What Do You Do?

What do you do when something occupies too much of your time, too much of the space in your already overthinking mind?

What do you do when things that happen are absolutely out of your control?

What do you do when there are only negative thoughts, and more destructive thoughts making home in your heart and mind?

Needless to say the first suggestion would be to talk things out, to share your woes and doubts with people who care about you.

You pray and hope, and calm your mind but those little evil people are trapped within you.

Then comes the idea of writing your feelings down, word by word. Writers often tend to this technique to cure the ache.

But you see, when desperation kicks in, you go as far as writing your frame of mind and even burning the sheet down to mere ashes; repeatedly!

What do you do when despite all the efforts, those thoughts and feelings stick with you?

What do you do when your thoughts are absolutely out of control? When those thoughts, pains you like a piercing needle, slowly seeping blood out?

What do you do when you can take no more?

What do you do when nothing helps, and even the thoughts (the fact that it is not happening in reality, it is only a thought and a feeling in my head is significant here) shatter you to the core?

What do you when you can’t face the consequences of those thoughts?

 

Importance of Language

Ever wondered, what if there was no language?

What if we humans too would depend on only sign language and sounds like other beings?

Would everything will be simpler or more complex?

Would communication be any simpler with lesser options, or would it be more demanding?

What if there were no words, and only feelings?

Untainted Love

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I must admit that I am not a very big fan of kids, but neither do I hate them. Somehow kids love me a lot. Whenever they are around me, they want to be with just me. One would want only me to feed him, the other will play only with me. Even when I don’t want to be with them, they want to be with me!! And sometimes, I do get a little bit irritated when parents just leave them with me, regardless of their behaviour.

But I must say, that when I am not working, and I am not busy, the do make me happy. I know there are conditions attached here, but that is the truth.

I love how they cuddle against me, how they show their love towards me without any hint of jealousy.

There’s is the angelic love.

 

 

Seven B&W Photos; Day 1

I am participating in the Seven Days. Seven Black and White Photos of Your Life. No People. No Explanation. Challenge Someone New Each Day.

This is a simple picture taken in the outskirts of Jamshedpur, Jharkhand, a view from the resort that we once stayed in.

I nominate Mr. Lonely today for this challenge, (no compulsion) from https://utkarshsharma26.wordpress.com/