Category Archives: It’s how life is!

Chains of Life

Trying to free myself from the chains of life,

I got entangled within, creating a new bond.

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Rest-less Mind

After a long an tiring day, I go to bed with thoughts as usual in my mind. I don’t know about you but it happens with me almost every day, in bed there are various thoughts as my company. They may vary from fantasies, dreams, events, to any kind of conversation that may or may not have even happened.

So yesterday, I went to sleep with such unpredictable thoughts, and to my alarm I woke up with the same thoughts too.

Half in sleep, half awake, I wondered if I was still dreaming, but I was awake now and was flummoxed with my mind racing. How was it even possible to have come to life with the same thoughts from the last night?

Was my mind never at rest?

 

The jealous being!

This past week kept forcing on me only one thing repetitively, starting from Monday morning till now, the minute that I am writing it, there was only one thing that came to me over and over. It has been rubbed on my face, time and again that people aren’t jealous of you when they fail, but jealousy comes in with your success. Their failure does not seem to be the foundation of such paltry feelings, but someone else’s accomplishment is.

And honestly there is no solution to jealousy! When jealous feelings makes home inside of you, no rationale helps. There is only one question that bothers, “Why not me?”

And if by some chance there is someone who isn’t jealous of your endeavours, you are simply fortunate to have that wonderful individual in your life.

 

Human Nature? Or just a selfish trait?

I have learned one thing over time, I might be wrong, or it may depend on individuality but it has often been true for me.

People tend to not like sad stories, by stories I don’t mean plot or novels, I just mean situations. They tend to almost hate it when we talk about sad and depressing situations going on in our lives, but in return they still expect to get an ear or two when they themselves are in such gloomy circumstances.

How justifiable is this?

 

Imaginary Concept.

This might make me sound absolutely vulnerable, too emotional and to a certain extent meek and fragile, but I have to get it out, out of my head, out of my system!

So the question is- can an imaginary concept, a tale that has never happened, never going to happen, an incident which is absolutely fictional, and a plot twist which you might not even pen down make you cry? Is it really possible?

Yesterday, in the night when everyone around me was dead to the world, I opened my laptop and was just trying to write something, anything that my mind would be willing to work on. I ditched the laptop soon and adapted the notebook and a pen. I had just started to scribble something, when my mind started racing, the thoughts started flowing. And I lost track, and swam with the thoughts. I had completely stopped writing and was simply thinking about how the plot could go.

I was blind with tears just in a couple of minutes, I was not writing, I was not even taking notes. My own plot; my own construction made me cry!!!!

I remained still for a while; I did not stir but eventually in a mixed emotional state of fury and guilt, rage and helplessness, I erased everything, tore the sheets, and shut the laptop.

I don’t understand what happened. I don’t know how I could cry at own plot, how a fictional story which was not even written down could make me so exposed and defenceless. But it happened and all I felt like doing was to erase that memory from my mind. Simply remove it.

It felt like could I be so cruel? Really, me?

I don’t know what was it that made me cry, the wretched circumstance, or the fact that I imagined myself as the protagonist of the same.

Crazy Sunday!

Sunday morning, beautiful weather outside, cool and calm air caressing you, a good book in hand, a warm cup of coffee.

Anything wrong with that? Nope, sounds just perfect. But a perfect day was just not for me.

Instead I decided to be the good girl, and sat with my books to study. I had been delaying it for quite some time now, so there I sat with books in front of me, the lovely weather outside tempting me every five minutes. I resisted the temptation, telling myself that I will enjoy this perfect setting in the evening.

So I studied till lunch time, had a delicious home-made lunch, and then was just trying to set that perfect scenery, I got the book that I was reading, placed the chair beside the window in the balcony, opened the giant windows, and was just about to get that cup of coffee, when..!

When I got a call.

My initial instinct told me not to pick up the call, because that call on a Sunday meant nothing but work!

I picked up anyway, and ended up with a meeting of about an hour.

Sounds fair! So I can come back in an hour and start with that perfect setting, I told myself.

I got ready for that meeting in fifteen minutes within which I had managed to fix myself with another meeting with some clients.

Okay, now I have two meetings? That’s okay, its 3:30 and I can still come home by 6 max.

And then finally, I realised putting off stuff isn’t any good. I shouldn’t have put off that reading session.

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As always, I was kept waiting everywhere, and I managed to complete both the meetings by late in the evening, well it wasn’t even evening anymore when I got out of the place. It was 9 o’ clock and pretty dark.

So I drove home, ate my dinner in silence, with my head throbbing all the while. I was so tired and drenched (Just two meetings, right? Was I over-reacting?), I did not wish to do anything; even the TV had nothing to help with.

Working on a Sunday? Really, why? Why did I agree? That shouldn’t even be a thing! Working Sunday as a concept should be removed from our mind-set.

 

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That is when my dad stepped up, he took me out for a long drive, we stopped for a drink, (a mocktail, of course) and then we drove around a little bit, hardly talking to each other, with soft music playing all the while. Oh my God, that feeling, I cannot simply express how I felt at that moment. It was so soothing.

And then he simply said, “We should do this, more often.”

Oh of course, we should.

PS: Apart from the reading, I also missed being the crazy questionnaire to my mom, over that mythology show. Hoping for that to happen on the upcoming Sunday, but then it’s a week away!

Woes of Modern Money.

They say we have innumerable options of payment today, we should avoid using cash, there is swipe and pay, wave and pay, hassle free payment, paper money, bank transfers, online payment, and a lot other options. I am pretty sure I am forgetting something here.

And yet I don’t rely on them, any time I opt for these “hassle free payments” I stumble across different kinds of hassle.

Just as the options, the problems are unending. Sometimes they accept the payment but when the product comes to be delivered, it says ‘out of stock’ and the money is transferred to not my bank account but an account which I use with the seller. In short I don’t get a refund; the money is there with them, to be redeemed when I buy something from them in the future.

Sometimes, the payment itself does not get accepted. “Your card cannot be accepted” why? Believe me, no one knows the answer. There is money in your account but the process cannot be completed.

So I try to wave and pay, but the man standing next to the machine says, “Ma’am would you please pay in cash, our system isn’t working?”

The nearest ATM never has the cash.

When I try to transfer money online, believe me the process never completes at a single click, I am redirected to the same page 100s of time, the OTP mostly never comes within the 10 minute of which it is to be accepted, and if by some chance I am able to get it after a couple of trials, then the internet speed wins over. The speed is so wonderful, that the process bounces itself.

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