Since the lousy day was well spent, we planned to go window shopping in the evening. But before that we had the whole day to ourselves. And we couldn’t just let it pass, right?
When we left for another city, we left with a bang. After a tiresome day we enjoyed ourselves with local delicious food accompanied by the coolest fresh air and folk music. Could it be any better? I dont think so.
So today was very important, it wad the first reason that the trip was even planned. I am sorry I might keep it a bit vague.
My day started at 7 in the morning. After the long tiring days, I knew this one awaited me too. It hf to be exhausting. But this time I was prepared. I took a long cold shower after which I went to the hotel’s dining room. Bread toast, cornflakes, a cup of coffee and orange juice was served to me even before I told them. I took my time, eating and planning for the day. I was still wondering if Mr. R would make it on time. Mr. R is my buddy, an all time saviour. He lives four hours away from where I have travelled, and the fact that he did travel so much for me, must make it clear that we are special for each other. At least I think so.
I did not call him, I did not want to be a trouble for him, constantly bugging him. I hailed a cab and went to the work myself, and what could be better thanMr. R waiting for me there.
I am telling you, I understand that that these officials have to follow the rules but sometimes it gets too difficult for us, who do not even understand the basic. I guess they could be more supportive, at least talk politely rather than shouting at us. Still, the people here were way better and helping than some places which clearly were unhospitable to me, always. All the paper work and everything left me busy till 5:30 in the evening after which Mr. R and I went for a cup of coffee.
I was so relieved that a part of the trip was already successful and that someone was with me there. A couple of other works and then we both headed to our hotel. It was dinner time by then o we headed straight to the dining room and ate in peace.
Well, it wasn’t the end though. We left for another place post dinner. And that’s how we went on to meet the other Mr. and Miss’. I don’t know how it is going to end, but I guess it would be satifactory.
PS: I don’t know how this trip is going to end, but I intend to share it here. Sorry in advance, if this turns out to be a rather unsatisfactory.
It was a day crammed with work, with lots of packing to do, and even more work jammed into an already hectic day. That was the last day at my home; I was leaving for an uncertain trip. Exhausted by the night I crept into my bed. I was so tired and exhausted that my eyes wouldn’t even want to remain open. I wanted to sleep and yet sleep was not my friend that day.
So began the restless night, a fitful sleep. I was awake almost the entire night, and slept fitfully in bits and pieces.
The little time that I slept awarded me with dreams that were unwanted. I saw that my brother was showing a horror movie to me. I was constantly cribbing about it and was asking to shut it down, my brother forcefully shut it down and yet I could see the movie. I could see the horror movie!
And then finally came reality, my mom, asking me to wake up, telling me that my alarm had already gone off, and that if I didn’t’ wake up, I’d miss my train.
And that’s how I started my journey, my trip this year.
My train left my city.
I had to catch a flight then which got delayed. As soon as I could board the plane, I made myself comfortable and then I had dozed off, I had no idea when my journey started and when we landed, I was so exhausted.
The day was just as exhausting as was preparing for that instant trip. It had pretty much nothing exciting, except for one incident which I didn’t like. People really make such impressions on me. I was waiting at the railway station for a cab in the prepaid line, there was one person in front of me and there was no cab for a while. The sun was scorching and the people behind me suddenly started screaming at the man in front of me, asking him to move forward, so that they could have the shade too. I completely understand that the heat was unbearable, because even I was standing there a while before but none of us were shouting at people. I mean what was he to do? The line had to start form there and he had no hand in making the heat unbearable. It was just insensitive. I could never explain the situation, but all I can say now is, that I guess they were all wrong to holler at a poor man, who had just gotten into the shade, with 2 big bags desperately waiting for a cab.
So that’s how my first day of trip went off. With delayed trains, and flights I had no time to even have food, which made me eat like a starving person at the end of the day. But I guess all’s well that ends well. The hotel that I was staying in was kind enough to send me a pick up car, and give me complementary dinner and breakfast, so that I needn’t worry about eating outside.
I think, kind people do exist after all.
A question in my mind,
The answer to which I don’t know if I’ll ever find.
Does history repeat itself?
Scared, I am unable to contain myself.
She was sitting there, lost into her gloomy thoughts. The room was awfully murky, and the darkness helped her hide from the light. Tattered as she was, so were her thoughts. Her appearance was no less depressed with rugged hair, with the black dress, and with face as dull as her feelings. She clutched onto herself, at a shuffle of sound, dreading anyone’s presence. She needed no one at the moment, she knew the amount of pessimism people brought to her, and she was also conscious of her own tumultuous state. It was all plentiful.
Lying down, she shut her eyes, as if the room was not dark enough. Taking deep breathes she suddenly felt the loss of air, the need for cool air. And there it was, a sway of cool breeze through the window which had been kept open in the dark of the night.
Only then with the flicker of the light did she realise that there was a candle far away in the room, barely alight. The wind blowing now was making it harder for it to be kept lighted and she did not even wish it to be lighted. But no amount of wind could blow off the candle. It almost got burnt out and then just when it seemed that it was out, she would find that it was still alight, barely alight, but yes it did have the vigour and the desire to keep itself lighted which she knew she missed in herself.
A small candle which did not even have the needed amount of wax to light itself fought for the light that it wanted to spread in the darkness of the room, and there she was crouched at the far corner, hardly breathing, hardly wanting to live.
If the candle could put up a fight, so could she. She would reignite herself again; she would rise up and not let any sort of obscurity win over her. Not this time. She would keep her life lighted from then on. And there just when the candle burnt itself again and gave the brightest light, she knew she was born again.
And as the candle went off, she smiled brightly, welcoming the dawn, her tears long dried and a face that had the power to conquer her world. Her soul set free from the chains of the darkness.
Ever wondered, why people are the way they are?
Why do they behave in the manner they do?
Being selfish is important in this world, I think that is very much common to here now, but how far can one go, and even when at someone else’s cost.
Telling someone off, but isn’t it necessary to peep inside your own soul first rather than criticising someone else.
All these questions bother my mind now because of a friend. She called me up to relieve herself from all that she had gone through in the last hour when she was with her friends and families.
“Why are you so upset?”
The answer is always an aunt in our case, an Indian aunt who is always bothered and interested in someone else’s business.
So here my friend was coolly being the host at her place, celebrating her parents’ marriage anniversary, when this modern, beautiful, charismatic, wealthy aunt comes and flaunts literally everything, from her shoes to the gifts that she brought.
Okay, I know we all must have had such aunts! I do too.
Then came the general small talks, what came next was what my friend was not prepared for.
“So when do you think your daughter should marry? I have a guy in my mind.” There is always a guy in these aunts’ mind.
“I am still studying. I am doing my post-graduation now. I want to work after this.”
“Oh no, I think post-graduation is enough. After that you have to marry.”
All this while her parents just glorying beside her.
The aunt was still not satisfied, “Even this is too much. I think parents should start finding prospective husbands for their daughters when they are about to complete their graduation. That is the exact time, I guess.”
“Yeah you guess!!! Then I hope the next year you are planning to find a perfect husband for your daughter too. Isn’t she completing her graduation then?” screaming in rage my friend forgot that she was the host.
And of course she got a big eye gaze from her parents, and the disgusted look from that aunt, but nothing else mattered. Her mood was spoilt, and so was that aunt’s. Well, post the celebration, she also got a good one from her dad, but what was she to do? Listen to other’s beliefs and commands?
Is it not on her and her parents as to how much to study, where to work, when to marry? As it is it is difficult to convince parents for education and working before marriage; don’t even let me start on post marriage scenarios. And here, these aunts!!
Like literally, how many of them are there?
And you know what that aunt replied to her parents? “No, my daughter is going to study after her graduation; I am in no hurry to marry her off. It’s her life; she’ll see what to do. She is different.”
As if my friend’s life is not hers.
What gave her the right to do so?
All I can say is my friend could have kept the temper and replaced it with sarcasm; apart from that I am with her. And I don’t care about speaking up to elders or disrespecting a guest if such was the case.
And for the record, her parents are considering their decision to ‘allow’ her to pursue her higher studies.
So cheers to these ‘modern aunts’.
If you are tired of your work, if you really need a break, what do you do? Most certainly, I would go off on a vacation and not barge into someone’s place uninvited, unwelcome. I also thought that most people would do the same until recently when I came across a person who was willing to break into anyone’s apartment rather than hers.
We had the terrible month of the year, with a wedding just done with in the family, with renovation in the house going on, with my brother’s college going, with my exams; in short every one of us in the family was deep submerged into work. And on top of it all we had a distant relative coming over. This relative of us has never been that close, we have never visited each other; in fact we don’t even see each other unless there is an occasion. So she called us one fine day to ask if it was okay for her to come over and stay with us for a while? What were we to say? No? of course not! That would have been just rude and mean, but a yes was an added trouble at that time.
So with a diplomatic answer my parents hung up the phone, hoping she got the hint. With no door bells for the couple of days we thought she did get the hint, but then the third day brought her in with her two daughters just when we were having our lunch.
What is it a hotel? No!! We live in our house and we don’t expect uninvited people all the time. So how are we to feed them? Of course the men don’t realise this.
“Come, come, eat with us.” Said my dad.
But what do we serve them? I was to eat out so there was food for the only three of them. Any how my mother managed to prepare food for all. And she also made separate food for her 6 month old daughter.
Food was not the problem. It was her distance from us. We barely meet and talk, and now she was at our place, and we were lost with what to do with her and her two daughters. Her 6 month old was still fine to be with, but her elder daughter 6 years old, she was a child I have never seen. She would not sit still for a moment, and I can safely say that there is a fine line between being a child and a manner less one. Believe me; you wouldn’t have seen such a kid. I lost all my control when she tore two of my prepared answers to which I had no other copy of and still her mother did not say a word. I lost all control and yet all I could do was ask her politely to take that child away! What was I to do?
I knew kids are not my cup of tea, but I also am always capable of handling them well. At least manage to. But she was out of my imagination. All I wanted was to ask her to leave but of course that was out of the question.
And so this whole inconvenience went on for the next week. Our home was just a weird place to live in even for us. When she lived with us, we realised that she had guests at her own place and she was just tired of all the work and needed a break herself.
I don’t know how relieved she must have been living with us and having very little in common with us, but for us it was very bizarre. And all the while we just hoped when she would leave and we could get rid of fake smiles, unintended politeness, and all the formality.
We were in a situation of-
“Atithi tum kab jaoge?”
There are times when I have; rather we all have at some point in our lives wanted to seize the moment, which is all what carpe diem is about. I mean just for a moment think how beautiful it might me if we could actually seize the moment, live and relive our best flashes of pleasure and contentment. If only we could…..
We all at some point of our lives must have attended such theme based parties where we want nothing but to save the blissful time for eternity, in form of reminiscence or even as snapshots and pictures. Haven’t the modern technology made quite possible the impossible.
And yet at times I wonder why can’t we seize the day, not only in form of photographs but in some different form where those happy days might just not vanish away.
I always keep wanting for the best days to come, for instance when one of my cousin was visiting me this summer, I was all excited about it since days. Overjoyed as I was, the days came and went away and all I am left with is the nostalgia that how quick it all went by. First in the wait of his visit, then the days when he was here, all just seems now as a split second. How highly spirited those days were but it all went by just as it came. Of course I have the photographs and the beautiful memory of his stay but isn’t it all going to fade away?
We humans will always want more and here I am wishing for more…..if only I could relive it again and yet again….
Do we really seize the moment? Does it really stay with us all our lives?
I was sitting with my cousin and my aunt in their house, munching snacks and having a relaxed time over a cup of tea. We were having a blast, my cousins who have come all the way from Gujarat are really chirpy and can make you feel instantly at home anywhere, even if they are themselves not at home, and my aunt surely enjoys their company. Whenever they come over it is like the house is full of people, despite them being only two teen girls.
One of them just went upstairs to bring something to show me and that was enough for my aunt to start on me. She definitely likes to know everything going on in my life, and I on the contrary hate telling her or any one for that matter everything going on in my life. I can tell you just the thing you know but not every petty thing. So somehow we landed on the topic of girls being educated which made her say that she wants a “Beautiful, educated wife for her son who would stay at home and look after everyone.”
I could have made 1000 jokes on this and let it go but I could not, just as I am never able to let it go. I tried to make her understand what she was asking for and yet I could pass nothing into her chained minds. For her education is important but when it comes to utilising it, girls aren’t meant to do it. I mean do these people even understand themselves what they are asking for? They want an engineer homemaker for an engineer man, a doctor for a doctor, a management student for a manager? They want a girl to spend years and years educating her, working so hard to bring her to certain level and when the time comes to marry, they want her to leave it all behind and shove her degrees in the store room.
I respect completely stay at home moms or wives who choose to not work for their families, but the respect only extends to those who CHOOSE it, it turns to pity for them and disgust for their family members just the moment I get to know that the decision was forceful.
I know this brings us to another statement put up- ‘FIGHT FOR IT’.
What do you think? Women don’t? Of course they do, but somewhere down the line, there are many boundaries, emotional or otherwise which she just can’t cross or is forced again not to cross. If a man says he understands all this, I am sorry I am not going to believe it. I think you do not understand a person’s feelings unless you have been through them.
So there I was trying to justify myself but it was very clear that I was speaking Latin to a person who understood only plain Sanskrit.
Before the discussion changed into a heated argument my cousins took over and there was no further chance to discuss anything else, but my aunt’s curt replies and behaviour made it clear that she didn’t like my presence anymore, so making some excuse to my cousins, I left bidding them good bye.
I could not stand being in the wrong. I could not help being there, feel disgusted. The fact that I was trying to explain my point, talk up to my aunt made her feel that I was in the wrong then how are we supposed to make them understand things that are beyond their understanding?
We think that we can change these people, these circumstances but I don’t think so. We will fail until we have such people (MEN AND WOMEN) in our lives.
I don’t care if she doesn’t like me, now that I have raised my voice, put forward my opinion in front of her; what I care about is I like myself. I know I didn’t change her mind, but had I just taken it all without even trying, putting a little bit of effort, I would have hated myself. I failed but at least I tried. Well, that is what I am trying to say to myself and keep calm.