Tag Archives: future

Fact or Fable

Deep memories submerged within,

Sweet, sad, happy and a little evil.

Time elapsed, and I kept treading,

Only to have thought, that someday

I will lose every inch of it.

 

But today, despite the tiresome days and nights,

A mere thought, a small talk,

Even the tiniest prospect of the past,

Passes a solid sensation onto me,

Shaking me to the core,

Sending shivers down my spine,

Making everything of the past, again mine.

 

How does it happen?

What is that feeling?

Why does it not go?

What would it take to go?

 

I am tired of this notion,

Constantly restricting all my gesticulation.

What is that feeling?

I am yet not certain.

 

I keep asking myself

Was the feeling ever true?

Or could it have been a delusion?

Or part of it fact and a part fable?

 

I have no answers,

As usual,

But for certain,

I have all the questions.

 

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My Sister’s Keeper

Warning: I might end up discussing the story of the book too.

I was reading, so that I could kill my time, I was reading so that I could have a Sunday on a Monday, I was reading so that I could find out what actually happens to Anna, what about Kate? Will she live? Will she die? How is the family going to take it? How will Sara react when she finds out that her own daughter files a case against her and her husband, Brian? What is wrong with Jesse, their oldest son? What kind of chemistry do Campbell and Julia share, and what exactly is Judge, the dog for?

My sister’s keeper by Jodi Picoult has all the answers to it, and I was on the verge of finding them. Hardly did I know that by then I will be left shattered, once again. I really have lost count how many times a simple book has done that to me by now.

Devouring the last few pages of the book, digging my nails into the covers of the book, I realised that I was almost crying, at least on the verge of. I was battling hard to even breathe by now.

I mean, what, how, when, why???

It is then, that I realised that we have absolutely no control of our lives, we may think, we have, but no, we do not have even a grasp over it. I felt like a mere puppet playing the so called game, life.

We think we can control our lives, but all we have is a most shallow form of control, a simple interpretation of life, when in reality it is far more intense with lot many twists and turns which we can never in our rarest dreams anticipate.

Kate was the one suffering with some sort of cancer, Anna was the once conceived to donate her organs to her sister, then how come this end to a story?

The book is simply about Anna fighting for herself, but in the end what happens is really what I did not expect.

I kept the book aside, pages fluttering with the air, the ceiling fan really creaking down on me, and there I slept with the small lamp switched on, for the lightest hope to cling on to.

 

Know the blogger #4

  1. When was the last time you changed your opinion or belief about something major?

I was just like the people we hate, the judgmental. I stopped it when I realised how wrong I was. It isn’t fair to judge people without knowing their story. I was told that I am such a sad and lonely person, when the other person did not even really know me, my circumstances. I realised it then and I just somehow, brought myself to stop randomly judging people.

 

 

  1. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

When someone says that I wrote beautifully only I never know that if the compliment was true, or just for the sake of saying it. (I am sorry for saying this to all my lovely bloggers, it is not the lack of trust on you, it is because the lack of confidence in me)

 

  1. As the only human left on earth, what would you do?

If I had books, I’d survive for a while, but I’d be dead otherwise too.

 

  1. Who inspires you to be better?

I wrote a post about it some months ago, there has been never an inspiration. I have always struggled to make myself better, from not the example of others, but from their flaws. I mean if I find some “quality” that I don’t like in someone else, I know that, that has to be changed inside me too.

 

  1. What do you want your epitaph to be?

“I think therefore, I am”

 

  1. What haven’t you grown out of?

Soft toys!

 

  1. In what situation or place would you feel most out of place in?

Surrounded by sports fan!

  1. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done that actually turned out pretty well?

I went to a city for my graduation for unsatisfactory reasons; like the reason was so dumb I cannot even bring myself to say it here. But it turned out pretty well.

 

  1. If someone wrote a book on an event in your life, what would the book be about?

The days of my wedding planning, and how I met so, so many new people there almost every single day. At least as of now, I guess this would be it.

 

  1. What’s something you will never do again?

Go crazy after a guy. I don’t think that’s happening.

 

  1. How do you hope you’ll change as a person in the future?

I don’t know, but I want to better by each passing day.

 

  1. What keeps you up at night?

Overthinking. What else could it be?

 

  1. What’s the most surprising self-realization you’ve had?

That I am like the person that I never wanted to be.

Again, I did a post on it. “just like her”

 

  1. What is the most illegal thing you’ve ever done?

Oh how can I do something illegal, I am the good girl!

Drive without helmets on! That’s it.

 

  1. How do you get in the way of your own success?

My fear drives in.

 

  1. What are you afraid people see when they look at you?

They just see my face, I know that, not even afraid of. No one looks at the real me.

 

  1. What is your biggest regret?

I never tried making my passion into a profession.

 

  1. What do you look down on people for?

Hypocrisy.

 

  1. What bridges do you not regret burning?

I burn them down, eventually I do.

 

  1. What lie do you tell most often?

“I am okay.”

And “yes ma, I am going off to sleep.”

 

  1. What would be your spirit animal?

Never thought of it.

 

  1. What is the best & worst thing about getting older?

Best- you experience life.

Worst- you never get to go back and be the kid again.

 

  1. What are you most likely very wrong about?

“That all men are same.”

 

  1. If you had a personal flag, what would be on it?

I seriously don’t know.

 

  1. What’s happened that changed your view on the world?

I have seen domestic violence through my eyes when I was 7. It was not at my home (thankfully) but I lost faith in humanity that day and I never outgrew that incident.

 

  1. What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned?

That no one, no one except your close family cares for you.

 

  1. What is the most immature thing you do?

I cling on to the teddy in my room when I read or watch tv. (I think I shouldn’t have said that.)

  1. What are you famous for among your friends & family?

Studying literature and books frantically.

 

  1. If your childhood had a smell, what would it be?

It didn’t have any smell.

 

  1. What one responsibility do you wish you didn’t have?

To look up for everyone, to stand against every wrong, to be the stronger one in my family. Even we fall apart sometimes.

*
Please bear with me, tomorrow will be the last part of flaunting about me. :-!

“What to do?”

“What to do after high school?” Isn’t it one of the major questions in our lives which decide our future? Which either makes or breaks our future?

I for a fact think so. I am way past my high school days but this question sometimes still bothers me. I mean what if I had chosen some other career option, some other course? How would my life be then?

I have to first say that when I was in high school I had absolutely no one to guide me through it. My parents wouldn’t say a word about my life decisions and they were then in no position to guide me through it. So all I was left back then with was my intuition which I don’t know has proved right or wrong. To be honest, I still wonder if I am on the right path or am I still playing with my future? I am still confused and for now I am playing along.

But I have a younger brother who has me to at least tell him what can he do, or what options he has after school. I do want to help him, I want him to know that I am there for him whenever he needs any kind of help and to know that he is in whole other position than me. He knows I have had to pass through troubled times because of some issues and I do not want him to go through any of them. I badly want to help and make things easier for him. I know however hard I try some things in life he will have to do it on his own but at least I could be there by his side.

But he isn’t ready to listen. Right now, he is caught up in the moment, in the laurels and blooms of the last high school days and does not want to listen to any of the things that I want to tell him.

I just hope it’s not too late when he is ready. For me the case was different, but I don’t want things for him to be as they were for me.

I hope he understands before it is too late.

Happy new year

They say you should leave behind all the burdens and sorrows of the past but is it so easy? I mean overnight does so many things change that a new year brings suddenly new news and bright days? I mean isn’t it just a change of numbers from 2016 to 2017? Isn’t a new start when one really changes something in his life?

Anyhow there is no harm in hoping against all odds that the new year if not just the next day might bring fresh flow of laughter and an exceptionally bright future to all of us.

So here’s wishing you all a very bright and prosperous new year.

It might be the last page of 2016 and the first of 2017 but it will be a page from my book of life, and a very important one at that.