Tag Archives: pray

What Do You Do?

What do you do when something occupies too much of your time, too much of the space in your already overthinking mind?

What do you do when things that happen are absolutely out of your control?

What do you do when there are only negative thoughts, and more destructive thoughts making home in your heart and mind?

Needless to say the first suggestion would be to talk things out, to share your woes and doubts with people who care about you.

You pray and hope, and calm your mind but those little evil people are trapped within you.

Then comes the idea of writing your feelings down, word by word. Writers often tend to this technique to cure the ache.

But you see, when desperation kicks in, you go as far as writing your frame of mind and even burning the sheet down to mere ashes; repeatedly!

What do you do when despite all the efforts, those thoughts and feelings stick with you?

What do you do when your thoughts are absolutely out of control? When those thoughts, pains you like a piercing needle, slowly seeping blood out?

What do you do when you can take no more?

What do you do when nothing helps, and even the thoughts (the fact that it is not happening in reality, it is only a thought and a feeling in my head is significant here) shatter you to the core?

What do you when you can’t face the consequences of those thoughts?




Turning the pages of the newspapers I only see advertisements of the ‘Puja sale’ ‘Diwali sale’ or some other kind of sale going in the shops and online websites, it is then when somehow this irony struck on me. On page 4 I read an article named, “Minor girl kidnapped by classmate, raped for three days.” While just on the next page there was an advertisement for ‘Durga pooja’ saying, “Instead of searching for her in an idol, find her in your life.”

We human beings are so cryptic, we pray to an idol with all our heart while a girl is faced with such inhuman conduct, goes through such humiliation that she herself is reduced to such a state of a cold heartedness.

Being responsible

And that’s where the irony lies

I know we all are meant to be doing something worthwhile in our lives. We are required to have a good education, a well-paid job and a nice living standard. I understand we have to be responsible and we can’t live our lives like some careless person.

But if I could tell you the truth, for once in my life I am enjoying a few days where I could sleep till late, eat a cake in the morning. For once I am allowed to not have a job and do what I really aspire. And for the first time in my life I am enjoying the pleasure of drinking cups and cups of coffee while reading my favourite classic and eating easy pasta for dinner.

For a change I do like being pampered and a day’s rest when I am not even tired. I am kind of having pleasure in eating, sleeping, reading, praying and repeating.

I thought if Elizabeth Gilbert could do it in ‘Eat Pray Love’ then I could try it too but there is this same guilt of eating gourmet in the morning and repenting for not being able to concentrate on anything and the quest of finding oneself.