Tag Archives: thoughts

What Do You Do?

What do you do when something occupies too much of your time, too much of the space in your already overthinking mind?

What do you do when things that happen are absolutely out of your control?

What do you do when there are only negative thoughts, and more destructive thoughts making home in your heart and mind?

Needless to say the first suggestion would be to talk things out, to share your woes and doubts with people who care about you.

You pray and hope, and calm your mind but those little evil people are trapped within you.

Then comes the idea of writing your feelings down, word by word. Writers often tend to this technique to cure the ache.

But you see, when desperation kicks in, you go as far as writing your frame of mind and even burning the sheet down to mere ashes; repeatedly!

What do you do when despite all the efforts, those thoughts and feelings stick with you?

What do you do when your thoughts are absolutely out of control? When those thoughts, pains you like a piercing needle, slowly seeping blood out?

What do you do when you can take no more?

What do you do when nothing helps, and even the thoughts (the fact that it is not happening in reality, it is only a thought and a feeling in my head is significant here) shatter you to the core?

What do you when you can’t face the consequences of those thoughts?

 

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Fact or Fable

Deep memories submerged within,

Sweet, sad, happy and a little evil.

Time elapsed, and I kept treading,

Only to have thought, that someday

I will lose every inch of it.

 

But today, despite the tiresome days and nights,

A mere thought, a small talk,

Even the tiniest prospect of the past,

Passes a solid sensation onto me,

Shaking me to the core,

Sending shivers down my spine,

Making everything of the past, again mine.

 

How does it happen?

What is that feeling?

Why does it not go?

What would it take to go?

 

I am tired of this notion,

Constantly restricting all my gesticulation.

What is that feeling?

I am yet not certain.

 

I keep asking myself

Was the feeling ever true?

Or could it have been a delusion?

Or part of it fact and a part fable?

 

I have no answers,

As usual,

But for certain,

I have all the questions.

 

Finishing line

What is the meaning of our life?

Who are we?

Has anyone ever thought about it? I don’t know, I keep thinking and questioning our existence but of course have no answer to it as yet.

To satisfy myself I came up with an explanation just to quench my thirst of these questions or at least to make peace with unanswered questions.

Our life is a game, a race where the result is unknown until we cross the finishing line. We have to walk, run until we cross the finishing line, keeping in my mind all throughout that it is a run where our competition is with ourselves, not with someone else. We cannot know the end result before playing the game; similarly we cannot know the true meaning of our life unless we have lived it. We may not even know until the end, may be our lives imprint on someone else’s without our knowledge. We might just not know it. But surely it does have a meaning. We just have to go to the finishing line.

So till then we should try and live our lives to the fullest. It is almost impossible to have no regrets and live like we want, there are twists and turns on the road and that is the game we are playing. So we should live with regrets and fulfilments, with happiness and laughter, with tears and sorrows, with positivity and negativity, with failures and success, with friends and enemies, with love and hurt, with everything that life showers us with. We should live our life with everything in it, because once we cross the finishing line, we are not to come back, at least not as the same person anyway. So why not live it, play it rather than constantly trying to figure out everything which as mortals clearly are unable to?

Let’s just not focus on the finishing line and for once try and play the game. May be the game would prove more exhilarating than we’d thought. May be the finishing line is not worth so much of concern. May be this game is all about finding answers to our questions and by the end of it we’d get them all. Just may be.

PS: It is just a small way to try and satiate my unending curiosity, to make temporary peace with these questions and get along with the ‘game’ so that I can concentrate on more important stuff.

Thoughts

I was driving my bike at a speed of 40-50 when suddenly I crashed my brakes only to realise I hadn’t missed the exit and I could go on. I thought I was thinking too much and might have missed my way. Well, I also thought I could write something out of it.

My mind started wandering again when again I braked on my speed. “It’s a red light, you can’t cross that Moushmi.” I saw two men break the rule and I thought I could write something out of it too.

My mind wavered again and I thought why my mind is so unstable? Why does it have to think so much? And then I thought I could write something on thinking too.

And then somehow I was at my destination and I thought, yet again, where did the 40 minute ride go? And oh, yet again I thought I could write on my thought process or even fading of time.

Hence this post where I don’t exactly know what I am trying to say and neither does my mind know how it actually ends up from one thought to another.

Sorry to bore you with my random ramblings.

Does anyone have such thoughts too, please tell me I am not alone. 😀